I wonder...

God always has a plan for us right?..yea I sort of know that....but I mean in this world....what if there are just somethings you would want to tell god and hopefully he does it for us...Like for an example in God's plan book he writes down that on your 18th birthday your dad and mum will get you a Honda Accord...but you want god to change it for a Bmw or a Ferrari....so yea....I like you I mean I do....but its just that somehow....i do not think your the one god has put down in the book of his....somehow I know god is amongst us....its not that I do not believe that he exist....its just that i wish i could speak to him in person and tell him how i feel.....i wish i can tell you how i feel...but you see the world is never fair..and i am admitting that i am not doing a good job in handling it...as i am writting you are all that is on my mind....i wanna succeed in life and also to be able to find true love..I try to go through everyday avoiding the fact that i like you so much...i mean i am not gonna bullshit anyone la....at this age i cant really call it love...it would obviously be stupid....sometimes i wish you would compliment my presence onece in a while.....i compare myself to most ly my sister "Christine"....she is an amazing person....my gosh she is really intelligent and she is remarkably beautiful.....i know its wrong to question god....but i am human...and i apologise for my mistake......wish i could be really smart and beautiful like my sister....but the thing is there is a part of me that loves myself...not in a vain way but like really....i try to show as much appreciation to god for creating me....if only i was brave enough i would run up and tell you that i am not that bad and that you know what eventhough i am no model or an actress i am sure to be able to make you happy and that i would be able to interest you in every way possible....It just hurts so bad that i can never do that...i wish i was 13 back again...when i never fell in love...when the world was just about friends and having fun......those were the good days....now love actually hurts when you don't get love in return....but dont worry i dont blame you...its cause i never was brave enough....hopefully one day i will....but at the moment i guess i am gonna take a brake so yea....its so weird i feel like such a blogger...i am expressing how i actually feel to a Freaking computer.....soooo weird....well yea...okay...tata...=)